Forgiveness

Our assignment in Theology 2 this week was this:

Take a few minutes and ask God to bring to mind a situation or relationship where forgiveness needs to be extended. If a situation comes to mind regarding someone you are offended with, or someone who might have an offense against you, apply forgiveness through the rose and/or the rock:

Rose: A situation and/or broken relationship that needs mending.

Rock: A situation and/or broken relationship that you don’t know what to do with.

I can think of a few specific times in the past 10 years when I have been specifically challenged and convicted about my unforgiveness in situations and friendships and have had the opportunity to confess that sin both to my Father and to the person I was holding bitterness towards. These experiences have resulted in healing and building up in the relationship itself, but the change was even more profound in me. I have found freedom and the ability to walk forward without the remembrances of past hurts weighing me down. I am thankful for the conviction and then restoration of the Holy Spirit.

We had the option of taking a rose and making amends in a relationship by going to that person and asking for forgiveness and reconciliation. I do have someone in my life that I perceive I have a broken relationship with, I’m not sure she would hold the same opinion. However, I have not felt convicted to bring up this brokenness because I feel that it would further damage the fragile truce we currently have. I have been hurt by things this person has said but I heard them through the grapevine and that isn’t always a beneficial pot to stir. In addition I have been working through the years on my reaction and the grace I display in the relationship and have listened to the Spirit’s promptings on my role and response and loving actions towards this person. I have felt that I need to change in this situation. I have also come to the realization that forgiveness extended to someone does not mean that I need to trust them with the deep parts of my soul. Sometimes we extend grace and love toward a person and yet don’t choose to make them a deep confidante. I have learned that truth through this situation.

In the end I took a rock and asked Holy Spirit to bring to mind any relationship that needed forgiveness or restoration. The relationship I ended up spending time examining was that of some family members. I struggle with comparison and getting my feelings hurt when I don’t get my way or when I perceive my way being belittled or insulted, or even when I feel left out or excluded. I recognize that in my family we have many strong willed and opinionated people and at many times I love and appreciate that. However, I can also get so irritated by the people I love the most. I have newly committed to building up, validating, and listening to the story/journey of these family members. I have also committed to believing the best about them and giving them the benefit of the doubt and for continuing to pray for them and their heartaches. These are people I would give my right kidney for, people I love with all my heart so it becomes my choice to walk in grace or to take offense. I choose grace and love and forgiveness, and again, in that choice I receive the freedom to enjoy and love and live out this life in a family unit with intact relationships and mutual support and appreciation for each other.