Humility

     In Philippians 2:5-11 we see that Jesus poured out his life for us with no thought of himself. He was the ultimate in humility and poured out himself for humanity. This week for Theology 2 we were to think of a project in humility and live it out for a week. In class I immediately thought of the fact that as a mom of 4, I am required to pour out my life daily and not think of myself. I feel that most of my time is spent taking care of these 4 little lives I have been entrusted with. However, I was also immediately convicted of my attitude and my willingness to serve. I wondered if I considered it a privilege to give my life and time to them.

     I determined that I would work to be conscious of my attitude and work to serve my family in a way that they saw that I considered it a joy. I found when I let the Holy Spirit have free reign over my attitude, I was often checked. I found that I tend to grumble doing the same things over and over in service, especially to my children. I know that when I live in a place of joyful serving then it affects all that I do and everyone I come into contact with. I feel incredibly blessed to be a mom to my children but that doesn’t always show to them. I want to be the kind of person who models Christ, thinking not of myself or my rights. When I grumble it says to my family that they are an inconvenience and a distraction from what I want to be doing. However, when I live the way that Christ did, it shows my children that I think they are worth it, that it is my pleasure and privilege to serve them and to be their momma, that’s what I wish to show them. 

You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to.

Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being.

When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal's death on a cross.

Philippians 2:5-8 (NLT)

Forgiveness

Our assignment in Theology 2 this week was this:

Take a few minutes and ask God to bring to mind a situation or relationship where forgiveness needs to be extended. If a situation comes to mind regarding someone you are offended with, or someone who might have an offense against you, apply forgiveness through the rose and/or the rock:

Rose: A situation and/or broken relationship that needs mending.

Rock: A situation and/or broken relationship that you don’t know what to do with.

I can think of a few specific times in the past 10 years when I have been specifically challenged and convicted about my unforgiveness in situations and friendships and have had the opportunity to confess that sin both to my Father and to the person I was holding bitterness towards. These experiences have resulted in healing and building up in the relationship itself, but the change was even more profound in me. I have found freedom and the ability to walk forward without the remembrances of past hurts weighing me down. I am thankful for the conviction and then restoration of the Holy Spirit.

We had the option of taking a rose and making amends in a relationship by going to that person and asking for forgiveness and reconciliation. I do have someone in my life that I perceive I have a broken relationship with, I’m not sure she would hold the same opinion. However, I have not felt convicted to bring up this brokenness because I feel that it would further damage the fragile truce we currently have. I have been hurt by things this person has said but I heard them through the grapevine and that isn’t always a beneficial pot to stir. In addition I have been working through the years on my reaction and the grace I display in the relationship and have listened to the Spirit’s promptings on my role and response and loving actions towards this person. I have felt that I need to change in this situation. I have also come to the realization that forgiveness extended to someone does not mean that I need to trust them with the deep parts of my soul. Sometimes we extend grace and love toward a person and yet don’t choose to make them a deep confidante. I have learned that truth through this situation.

In the end I took a rock and asked Holy Spirit to bring to mind any relationship that needed forgiveness or restoration. The relationship I ended up spending time examining was that of some family members. I struggle with comparison and getting my feelings hurt when I don’t get my way or when I perceive my way being belittled or insulted, or even when I feel left out or excluded. I recognize that in my family we have many strong willed and opinionated people and at many times I love and appreciate that. However, I can also get so irritated by the people I love the most. I have newly committed to building up, validating, and listening to the story/journey of these family members. I have also committed to believing the best about them and giving them the benefit of the doubt and for continuing to pray for them and their heartaches. These are people I would give my right kidney for, people I love with all my heart so it becomes my choice to walk in grace or to take offense. I choose grace and love and forgiveness, and again, in that choice I receive the freedom to enjoy and love and live out this life in a family unit with intact relationships and mutual support and appreciation for each other.